


Nu Eta Lambda

by AzzureThunder, Sumariajane



Series: A Women's World [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Angry Jamie, Annoyed Kris, Classy Bitch Wasted, Drinking, Drunk Patrice, F/F, F/M, Gen, Girl's night, Happy Russian Baby Eagle, Horny Jamie, talk of babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 18:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5881501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzzureThunder/pseuds/AzzureThunder, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumariajane/pseuds/Sumariajane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2016 All-Star game, the girls plan to have a get together and get "Classy Bitch Wasted."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nu Eta Lambda

Patricia was pissed. Okay, maybe pissed was the wrong word. Annoyed, frustrated, sad were more accurate. Her and Jo were suppose to be at the all star game together, to get all the ladies together and just be girls together. But no someone had to get her sick and since she was puking her guts up flying was probably not the best for her. 

So Patty was here, without Jo having to have the girls night, without Jo. 

At least Jo had planned the bar and all the needed things prior to getting sick, If there was one thing Patty was thankful for it was Jo’s need to over plan things. The bar was picked, the time was decided, the texts were sent and the media was still in the dark. The one thing Jo had no accounted for was John Scott wanting to be around her all the time. She was chalking it up for nerves but she was really starting to get annoyed. 

“Was Scotty always this dad-like when we were younger?” She sent as a text to Jo after her second failed attempt to shake him before heading to the bar. The media was following him EVERYWHERE and she did not want the media around when they were talking. 

Jo’s only reply back was a “hahahahahahahahahahaha.” Jo knew what she was trying to do and was refusing her help her girl friend.   
Patty was startled when John put a hand on her shoulder. “I know what you’re trying to do Patty, you are just as crappy at it as you were before. Jo isn’t here so it isn’t a hot date… Why are you trying to shake me so bad candy Kane?”

“Because I’m about to get Classy Bitch wasted, with some XX only friends. Duh.” she says, and he blinks, “Wait, what exactly are you doing, and with What kind of friends? and does Jo know? that sounds… racey and exciting.. something I might wanna crash” Patty smacks him on the arm, hard.

“Not that kind of double X! And you have a pregnant wife Scotty! I’m going to get wine wasted with the other girls, god do I need to spell it out for you?” She groans, and rolls her eyes, “And you are the darling little media star this go around, so if you would kindly .. . you know, just not? That’d be great for tonight.” 

Shaking his head Scotty kindly salutes. “Got ya honey! Don’t punch a cabbie or cat fight!” He says before laying a big wet kiss on her forehead and wandering off. 

Patty blinks a few times before wiping her forehead with a giggle. With all the media around she had thankfully not been able to take her heels off and could just head to the bar. After dodging a few media people Patty was on her way. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The bar was a quiet, dark, small Jazzy wine bar, with the red table cloths and fake candles on the table. The sharp musical change made Patty stop as soon as she entered. Giving her eyes a moment to adjust she notices three people already at the table in the back smiling at her. One of them though, was suspiciously not very female looking, if the tank top and beard were anything to go by. 

“Tyler Paul Seguin, unless you have gotten a vagina, This is not where you are suppose to be. Because you were very much so in possession of a penis in Switzerland.” She states as she walks over to the table and sits down. 

“Patty! Nice to see you too! I like the haircut and the general ‘fuck off’ attitude, it suits you. But you see Jamie here, yeah she invited me and said no one would question her…” Seguin says cheerfully. 

Jamie chuckles quietly “And tonight is one of very few sex nights and you guys told me to be here or suffer the wrath of all of you. God damn it I was bringing my dick with me, so you can fuck right off.” 

Dutchy puts her face in her hand trying to not laugh at the look on Patty’s face before bringing her wine glass to her lips. 

“Well… Alrighty then. Any bets on how many crashers we get?” She asks, accepting them while many of the woman would not be there, they required gossip regularly. 

“6. Maybe 7” Patrice says side hugging Patty and sitting down and gesturing for a waiter. “And I need lots of wine, Fuck the media and Pierre, Creepy fucker.” Tyler throws open his arms in response to her and pouts, “What, I don’t get any love Mamam? The Prodigal Son returns to the all star game and there is no hug for me? I thought you loved me?!?!” he cries and he throws his head against a laughing Jamie’s breast. 

Patrice just flips him off and drains Tyler’s mostly full wine glass. “Don’t think I did not see you run off when you saw Pierre, A woman never forgets Tyler.” 

“So, Skinny and the Oilers.. How fucked up? Pimping him out for couches, I hope atleast they were leather.” Dutchy adds, starting the gossip out. 

“We never did get pictures” Tyler complains with a pout. “I was looking forward to those, I mean have you seen Eber----” 

There is a loud smacking noise on the table. “Fuck you Tyler, I was getting to it, not all of us have photo grade printers or want our junk all over the news. Thanks.” Taylor says before smacking the back of Jamie’s head. 

“What the fuck Taylor? I didn’t do anything.” Jame whines rubbing the back of her head. 

“You brought him, therefore your fault. That was the best money I have ever spent, Skinny’s mouth.. mmm, Damn Boy has been trained well, So much better than the money spent on that Thai hooker last year and she had tits and a dick!.” 

“So does Beau, but that doesn’t mean he’s any good!” Patty shouts, getting a round of raucous laughter, and a cleared throat behind them, “Why you talking about Sunshine?” comes the russian accent of an overly excited Gino standing with a resigned Kris Letang. 

Patrice throws a hand hand up, signaling the waiter over and exclaiming confusion, “Ok, there is no reason for you two to be here. Like, at all. Shoo, go away.” 

“You no love me anymore? I hurt” Gino says with a hurt expression while Kris sit down at a table about 3 away. “Ignore me, I am only here because I would like to not be killed by like 3 women. I will just be over here, playing words with friends and basically ignoring you.” He says before turning away from them and pulling his phone out. 

“Homme bon!” Patrice yells and starts to drink her 3rd glass of wine in less than 30 minutes. 

Gino sits down at the table, and orders the most alcoholic wine they have, “Beside I more Girl in group than Syd. I text for her all the time! I am gossip cougar, Da?” 

“God help us. He has a point.” Taylor sighs “Maybe you can answer some gossip questions we have?” She smiles hopefully. 

“Like are you and Syd having a baby anytime soon? Cause that would be awesome!” Tyler asks proving that he knows about ALL the conversations going on in the ladies chats. 

“Syd I have baby rumor? No baby... “ Geno says in a faux sad voice.

“Oh! We talk about Syd baby! I god father… no Ovi God father.. I god… son?” Kuznetsov says slightly confused with an extremely distraught Backstrom trailing behind. 

“No baby! Syd still want hockey. I want baby. Taylor say she might give me baby, but Syd tried throw her down stairs. If I carry baby Syd say I have baby, but penis, say it must stay..” He says forlornly while the girls laugh.

Taylor looks so confused “Wait I never Said… When did she throw me down… OH!!! Her sister…” 

“So much stupidity, not enough wine…” Patrice whines. Nicklas sits down next to her, with an angry huff, “Ovi say we have to come for Mia. But Mia never take in any gossip, so I think he’s full of shit.” 

Kuzy giggles, seemingly already drunk, if his flushed cheeks were any indication, “Nyet! We belong, I russian knitting Circle and Nicky is great Papa for sober driving. Yes.” Gino pats him on the back and the younger russian all but sits in his lap. “So we start Gossip now, and I rely to Ovi. Yes?” 

Nicky takes a picture of the Zhenyas and send it to both Ovi and Syd captioning it “Big/little Zhenya, don’t kill little Zhenya please Syd.” 

Dutchy shrugs, “I don’t mind the Eagles flying coop to be gossip hounds, Soo . . .” She leads off, looking at her companions, Bergy was already downing another glass, close to shit faced, and Jamie was in Tyler’s lap, “Hey! Benn! This is why we don’t bring dick along! No sucking face, you hussy!” Patty yells at them. Taylor sitting beside them, phone out, video on. 

Jamie turns and glares at Patty. “Shut your face, This is a sex night and YOU ALL are ruining my chance of getting numerous orgasms, so I can make out with my dick if i want.” 

Kuzy nods sagely, “Mama Alex always say to let women do what they want in bed, when they want before you face scorned wrath. Right Papa?” He asks where Nicky is trying to get Patrice to slow down before she pukes. 

Having not been paying attention Nicky replies with a short “Right.” before bargaining with Patrice on sharing her wine instead. 

“Hey Bitches! What is going down with all you Sexy Mamas?” Subban says upon his entry into the bar. Patrice looks up and drains her mostly full wine glass. “Why the FUCK ARE YOU HERE WITH YOUR DICK AND YOUR FACE AND YOUR… oh god, I am going to puke.” She says before quickly making her way towards the bathroom, Nicky following behind. 

The russian give a yell, “Heyyyy! Join we talk about babies!” Gino calls, patting the seat next to him. Taylor puts her phone away and leans on the table, “Are you here on behalf of your Missus too?” She asks. 

Pk nods, then shrugs, “Let’s be honest, who do you think she gets the gossip from, Am I right?” Patty grins, “You defense men always hear the best gossip on the ice, Right Kris!” She calls over her shoulder to the hunched over French Canadian. “Oh No. I’m not here to talk. I told you, I’m gonna be killed by Jordy, Bobby, AND Beau, if I didn’t show up.” 

“But Kris! We’re Talking about Babies! you French canadians LOVE babies. I am dating one, I would know!”   
Stumbling back to the table Patrice shakes her head, almost falling over “Fuck off! Babies can kiss my mother!” 

“That makes no sense Maman!” Tyler says with a giggle. 

“Dishonor! dishonor on your cow.” Patrice says flopping down on Tyler and Jamie’s lap. Jamie lets out a disgruntled sound. 

“If you wanna make out that much, kiss through me!” She says clinging onto the pair. 

Dutchy chuckles, “Ah get togethers. We are such a sorority. Just call us nu, eta, lambda” She grins, holding a toast in the air that the others halfheartedly agree too. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The morning sun was gentle, and Patty didn’t have to get up at dawn with her girlfriend. It was nice to stay snuggled into her warm blankets, even in a hotel. 

“Morning Candy Kane!” Well. It WAS nice. 

“Are you classy hungover this morning?” Scotty yells in Patty’s ear only to get shoved away and flipped off.


End file.
